


I'm Not Crazy

by too_cynical



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: ADHD, Angst, Anorexia, Anxiety, Character Death, Child Abuse, Depression, M/M, MPD, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Self-Harm, Sociopath, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, pau and pat are psychologists, these children dont deserve this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-05-15 02:35:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14782040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/too_cynical/pseuds/too_cynical
Summary: After Tom's failed suicide attempt he finds himself stuck in a mental institution with kids a lot more crazed then he is but, maybe the kids aren't so bad.





	1. Chapter 1

Tom sat at the bottom of the stairs at his cousins birthday party listening to his music, while adults mellowly chat among the others and children ran about probably high on sugar. Tom hated this, he hated that he was stuck there surrounded by children too young to have a real conversation with, he hated that he wans't in his safe bed at home, he hated that he was al-

"What ya listening to?"

Tom snapped out of his daze to face a little girl with blond hair bunched into pig tails, dressed in a little pink floral dress with the same black eyes that runs through his mother side of the family, it was his cousin Agnes. Smiling curiously at him.

"Oh um this." Tom held up his phone so the little girl could view the screen.

**Agnes - Glass Animals    «  II  »**

"Hey that song has my name!" Agnes cheerfully said grabbing the phone out of his hand to observe it further. Tom pulled out one of his earphones and offered to the little girl, she happily took the offer and the song began to play.

"I don't like it," The little girl scrunched her nose in displeasure. "Can I pick one?" She continued. Tom nodded knowing whatever his answer she would change it anyway. A few flicks of the girls thumb up the screen she pressed the screen and a familiar tune began to play.

**I'm a new soul.**

**I came to this strange world.**

**Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.**

"New soul?" Tom chuckled bringing as slight smile to his face causing Agnes to respond with a happy nod. The two didn't get far into the song before Agnes' mother came along looking for the child.

"Oh hi Tom, come on Agnes put these on we have to get going." Her mother said holding out a pair of pink buckle shoes, to which to girl obeyed and put the shoes on.

"Bye bye Tom." Agnes said handing the earphone back to Tom who still sat at the bottom of the stairs.

"See you later."

Tom replied giving a small wave to the girl who is now holding her mothers hand and heading towards the door. Tom sat there listening to the rest of the song. He liked how innocent this song was, it reminded him of his childhood. Of his mum. Tom began to feel his eyes prickle feeling the tears fall down his face.

_Damnit, why here?_

Tom wiped his eyes and stood up from his seat, he was sick of this party. Tom headed for the door and as his hand reached for the door knob a voice interrupted.

"Where are you going kiddo?" Tom could tell by the voice it was his father.

"Home." Tom chocked and rushed out the door closing it before he could get another word out. Tom left the party and made his route back to his house.

 

\--

 

Tom began to pass familiar houses so he knew he was getting closer to his. Tom approached a small, baby blue, two story house and took his keys out to enter, when inside he threw his keys on the counter and headed for the liquor cupboard, which thankfully his father never locks and pulled out a bottle full with a clear liquid.

His heavy feet walked passed the sofa and stomped his way upstairs, every step felt like his feet were getting heavier and heavier as if gravity was getting stronger. Tom made it to the top of the stairs but, instead of heading into his room like he would normally do his brain guided him into the bathroom.

_Today, todays the day._

Tom thought as he placed a hand on the cupboard above the sink. Opening it he found the tub that read 'Restoril' and pulled it out. Thank God we have an insomniac in the family. He chuckled as he took a drink from the bottle in his other hand. Tom stood there for a while staring down at the little tub in his hand.

_How can something so small be so lethal._

He sat down beside the bath.

_Life can be so easily ripped from your grasp._

The cap of the tub popped open.

_With just one small mistake._

The pills were now in his hand. His hand lifted and shovelled them into his mouth and washed down with the vodka, so he began the cycle with the second tub. Open, in mouth, swallow. The tubs were empty and soon so would the glass bottle in his other hand. His thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening, he forgot about his father.

"Tom?" He called out from down the stairs.

_Shit_

"Hi dad, just getting in the bath."

The echo from the bathroom would have been suspicious if he was doing anything else. Footsteps could be heard heading into (what Tom assumes) the kitchen, Tom sighed in relief. Tom knew the drugs were kicking in and he began to feel very drowsy as he saw the world blur around him, he knew he had finally did it. He fell into the grasp of sleep and didn't fight trying to stay awake anymore.


	2. Worth a Shot?

 

_fuck_  
_What happened_  
_I really need to stop drinking_  
Tom opened his eyes and was faced with an unfamiliar room and was in a bad that wasn't his. He began to panic, he sat up in his bed and looked around room but his attention was draw to a thin tube leading into his right arm.  
_IV? What the fuck happened?_  
The door knob began to rattle.  
_Well use your common sense_  
The door creaked open  
_Gown. Gown? Hospital gown. Oh shit._  
Two men stood in the doorway; a doctor and his father. Tom flinched his attention to the two causing them to react and approach the boy dressed in mint green. Toms father stood beside his son with greasy brown hair and worry imbedded in his eyes while the doctor went a cupboard opposite his bed and pulled out another bag filled with clear liquid.  
Tom kept his sorrowful eyes fixated on his father, he decide he would have to break the silence.  
"Hey."  
"Hey? That all you've got to say?" Toms father choked out. The doctor came over and changed the current bag leading into the boys arm with the new one, then said. "Lets not get frustrated. That won't help anyone."  
At this point tears filled his fathers eyes leading him to hug the broken boy causing Tom to ditto the action. The tight hug sending a pain through Toms back causing him to wince slightly, when Toms father pulled away he stared at the boy.  
"Why did you do it?"  
"I don't know." Tom said cheerlessly looking down into his lap, he felt tension begin to rise in the room and so did the doctor. He pulled a chair up next to Toms father, seated beside the bed; Tom knew this was bad news.  
"Okay, so I'm Dr. Robinson and I'll be evaluating you okay?" The man looked at Tom with somewhat reassuring eyes,  this made him feel slightly uncomfortable.  
"Evaluating me?"  
"So we can give you a proper diagnosis," Robinson nodded hoping to get on with the task at hand. "We could always do this without your father in the room, if that makes you more comfortable."  
Tom knew there wouldn't e anyway of getting out of this so he gave a weak. "Okay." Leading Toms father to leave.  
This left the two in silence until Dr. Robinson broke it again. "Okay, this'll be just a series of simple questions. Please try to answer truthfully. The sooner you do this the quicker you can leave." He pulled out a pen and sheet of paper with questions which were fill in the bubbles.  
"Oh so you're not asking me?" Tom took the items from the mans hands and examined the questions.  
"I can if that's what you'll prefer." Robinson suggested, he began to rather annoy Tom. He asked too many questions for his liking.  
"Nah its fine." Tom said defensively as he coloured in the bubbles.  
_Worthlessness- very often_  
_Suicidal thoughts- very often_  
_self harm- What do you think?_  
_hear voices... hear voices?_  
Tom looked up from his paper, he was really pissed off. "You think I'm crazy don't you?"  
"No, I don't."  
"Well I'm not crazy." Tom stared at the doctor with his sunken eyes and decided he wouldn't be answering anymore of his questions, so he placed the piece of paper along with the pen on the bed.  
"Have you finished?" Robinson question, he reached for the paper and examined it noticing some of the questions have not been answered. "Listen we need you to do this or we might give you a false diagnosis and we don't want that do we?"

The stubborn boy just glared back not saying a word, knowing he had no hope in reaching the boy the doctor sighed, collected the papers and left the room after saying a simple "I'll be back shortly."  
This left Tom with his own thoughts. He lay back down his the bed and tried to recall the steps in how he got here.  
_Okay so I know this is a suicide attempt but what triggered it?_  
 _Oh my God I sound like a therapist._  
 _Its going to be an awkward car journey home huh?_  
 _Dad probably hates you for what you've done._  
 _Just like everyone else I guess._  
Toms thoughts where interrupted by the two men remerging through the door to take their previous seats.  
"Okay so we'll be transferring you to a Psychiatric facility about eleven miles from here."  
Tom felt the blood drain from his face he knew this was bad.  
"Your father will be heading to your house to collect your belongings and you'll be transferred here by ambulen-"  
"No." Was the simple answer given to what he was saying. "I'm not going." But deep down he knew he didn't have a choice.  
"You can either go voluntary or we can section you. Keep in mind if we do have to section you it will be documented in your records so it will show up when looking for colleges or jobs." The doctor said this as if he knew what his answer would be and his estimate was correct.

 

"Fine."

\---

After being put in a wheelchair (of which Tom was really confused as to why they had to do it) they began their journey to Tom's new prison. Time passed relatively quickly and he made it through the solemn silence and awkward small talk, this was when he was pulled out the back of the ambulance and he could see his new home. Surrounding the building was a big hedge and wide areas of lime grass, the building itself wasn't too exciting but it wasn't what you'd expect the NHS to pull together. It was a brick red cobble, two stories high with Windows on both floors Tom swore he could have seen cold bars blocking the windows.  
Is this truly a prison?  
Tom thought as they edged their was to the building and through the sliding doors to meet a receptionist and a tall man dressed in white, leaning again the reception. Once he spotted the cynical looking boy come through the door he perked up and walked over to meet him.  
"Hello you must be Thomas I'm Dr Nowak, but you can call me Patryck." He held out a hand knowing Tom wouldn't take it, he was right Tom kept his arms crossed frowning at the man. Both of them knew he didn't want to be there.  
Keeping his smile, he drew his hand back and looked at the man who was pushing the boy. With a nod of his head all three headed past the reception and down a white wall, the only sound being the wheels rolling across the hard wood flood until they came to a room. upon opening it was a plain room with two chairs, a desk with a computer and pile of clothes resting on it, a curtain cutting off half the room. Opposite the desk was a window which showed the bushes and land that surrounded the place.  
Patryck headed over to the seat next to the desk and looked over at Tom with a calm smile, gesturing him over to him. Tom didn't spare anytime getting up from the chair, still keeping his arms crossed and headed to the seat next to Patryck.  
"So before we start anything else I'm going to need you to change. I'm sure you'd want to do the same too." He picked up the pile of maroon clothes and pulled back the curtain to reveal another hospital looking bed. He smiled at Tom and places the clothes on the bed.  
"I can trust you to stay in here alone so I'll wait for you out side." Patryck finished as he walked past the still sulking boy and out the door, closing it quietly behind him.  
After making sure he was able to roam as he please he got up from his seat and headed over to the clothes. He pull the curtain just in case Pat did come black in, then he could finally remove his gown and put on the maroon t shirt and black joggers given. The top hung loosely on his shoulders as he adjusted it so it would be somewhat comfortable. Tom looked around to see if there was a hoodie or something but there wasn't, he didn't like this one bit.  
He didn't like the fact people could see the old cuts and scars that scattered up his right forearm but he'd have to make do. He was about to pick up the piece of clothing that he once wore when he got an idea, he pulled back the curtain and looked over to the window.  
_Could I do it?_  
Tom pondered and he crept over to the window, as quietly as he could he pulled the handle of the window up and slowly pushed forward. It opened.  
_Holy shit._  
Tom realised his success and took not time in hopping out the window. Thankfully it was only grass beneath his feet, for a second he felt free.  
He looked up to see he destination which was a gate at the far side of the look garden, he knew someone might catch him so he better make it fast. From where he was standing two side of the building ran along giving him only on path. So he ran.  
Sprinting past the numerous windows he wouldn't help but look as he was running past one of the windows caught his attention however. There sitting looking out across at Tom was a boy who was wearing a red hoodie and with almost devil like hair. The boy noticed Tom and for a second had a look of shock, this slowly turned into an evil smirk which confused Tom but he'd find out why he had the smirk on his face.  
Tom knew he needed to keep running so he turned his head back to the gat-  
He'd ran into someone at full speed, this cause Tom to fall backwards and two hands quickly grabbed his shoulders, Tom began to struggle for a bit trying to pry himself from the grip but he gave up.  
He looked up to see his capture it was a man with shaggy hair, two huge eyebrows and an unshaven beard.  
"Nice try kid. Better luck next time so, you gonna come in or am I gonna pick you up." The man question raising one of the brows.  
Tom being the stubborn kid he is just sat there giving this stranger a dead look.  
"Alright." The man shrugged and pulled the boy up into an over shoulder carry.  
"Ow what the hell?" Tom grunted and he began to hit the man in the back.  
"Listen kid, you don't follow our rules then we do things the hard way."  
"I don't know. This seems pretty easy for you." Tom sarcastically remarked and they once again went through the doors Tom was first brought through, they once again went down the same hall but they carried on going until the end of the hall, this was when Tom heard a **Buzzt.**  
The two when through the door that made the sound and Tom was dropped to his feet. looking around he could see it was just a plain ivory room with a table that had colourful crayons and paper resting on top.  
"So what this is time out?" Tom said turning around to see the man already outside the room closing the door.  
"Yep." The man smiled and there was another click. So Tom was now alone. He defeatedly walked over to the table and took a seat on the floor beside it.  
_Why not spend some of your time doing art eh Tom?_  
_Very creative._  
So he did Tom got out the red crayon and began to sketch the boy from the window... well most of what he remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys liked it please comment, they keep me motivated. Or if not you know thats cool I'm not going to cry or anything :'))))  
> Love ya x


	3. Chapter 3

The crayon dragged across the paper leaving a trail of dappled red where every it went. Finishing the doodle he admired what he drew; the devil horned, red hoodie character sat on the blank page. he liked it. He felt his lips begin to smile, he felt proud of himself.

**Buzzt**

Tom flipped the page round and slammed it on the table, turning to see who would come into the room. A somewhat irritated Pat came into the room.

"Hello Tom." He said in a calm monotone voice, he walked over and sat on the floor beside the boy. "So, what happened?"

Tom looked at him and crossed his arms once again. Pat didn't say anything and just stared at the boy, Tom didn't like this silence that filled the room so he broke it.

 "I don't need to be here." 

Pat just gave him a pitiful smile and shrugged "So those aren't cuts up your arm? You know that isn't normal behaviour." Pointing a hand to his tucked arms. 

Tom gave him a puzzled look as he was surprised he even knew but, it was probably because of Paul. Quickly change his expression to one with expressionless he replied. "I don't care."

"And that's why you're here," Pat said in a soft voice "We just need you to oblige and do what we ask then we can send you home. When you're well again that is."

The thought of getting out of here sparked an interest in Tom.

_Do what they say you can go home._

_Thats not too hard._

"Fine. But I'm going home at the end of this week." 

Pat ignored the last comment as he didn't want to break the bad news. "So I'm going to ask you some questions and you will reply. Truthfully." He smiled.

"No I did that in the hospital." Tom uncrossed his arms and subtuly tried to retrieve the piece of paper from the table but changing his seating so he's facing the wall rather than the table, grabbing the paper alone the way.

"But you didn't finish it. So you said you're suicidal, self harm and feel worthless is this true."  
Tom felt agitated, he hated talking about this, he hated people knowing he had weaknesses and this obviously showed on his face and Pat continued.

"I know this will be hard but, help me to help you." 

Tom nodded slowly. "Yea, it is true." 

"Right. How long have you been feeling like this?" Pats voice got even softer with Tom thought was impossible.

"Since I started secondary school, I'm in year 11 now."

"So five years huh?"

"mmh hm"

"How's your home life?"

Tom kept quite for longer than he wanted, he wanted to plan out what he was going to say and how but, he took a bit too long.

"Tom?"

"It's fine I guess."

"Okay. Have you ever heard voices or had visions?" Pats voice seemed uncertain but, he proceeded with his questions anyway.

"No."

Pat nodded and rose from his seat, putting out a hand for the boy to hold. Tom looking up at the older man took the offer and rose to his.

"Now we do have a few more things we need to do but that can wait. Come on."  
The two made their was back though the white door and started to head left.

_Geez this place is like a maze._

He thought as they made their way down another corridor to a row of rooms. 

"Okay so you're room is now the hall to the left. I've got a kid I need to check up on so I'll be back with you at dinner." 

Pat left before Tom could object but it wasn't like he would anyway. Tom stood their for a while before a head poked from down the hall and called "HELLO!" A tuff of ginger hair was poking from the corner.

"Hi." Tom replied.

It was a matter of seconds before the ginger figure came running down the hall to greet him shoving out a hand.

"I'm Matt." He said cheerfully, the boy had ginger hair with paper like skin speckled with freckles and a toothy grin. He was wear a light purple hoodie.

_Why does everyone wear hoodies._

He took his hand and shook. "Tom." 

"Well Tom, you're the new kid who will be sharing rooms with us!" Matt cheered bopping up and down with excitement.

_Geez how much energy can one person have. Wait._

"Wait we share rooms?" Tom detested the thought of sharing a room with another kid, let alone a stranger.

"Mm hm! You and me." He nodded like a cartoon character, with over exaggerated gestures.

"You?"

_Fucking hell I can barely stand him now!_

"Yep, consider yourself lucky I'm the best. Come on!" He winked at the taller boy and gestured for him to follow. Walking down the hall left quiet foot steps along the floor.  
It felt as if they were the only two there.

Matt opened a dark blue door to show two beds with a side table separating them, two desks and two wardrobes. If you put a mirror down the middle of the room it would be symmetrical except for the fact one of the ivory beds wasn't made.

"You're bed in the one of the left." Matt said as he hopped onto the messy one.  
So this is going to be my new home huh?

He made his was to the bed still absorbing the room around him in hopes he'll get use to it. When he sat down the bed was softer than he thought, he almost sank into it.

"Do you want to borrow a hoodie?"

Tom was confused about the offer but than realised his arms have been exposed the whole time, quickly he pulled his arms close and nodded. The boy opposite him crawled across his bed to the wardrobe and pulled out a slightly darker purple hoodie.

"So you like purple huh?" Tom questioned as he was handed the fabric and slipped it on.

"Yep! It remind me or royalty which, of course, I am." He proudly said.  
Damn can you say confidence.

The boys didn't  get another word before there was a knock at the door, a face peered around the door to show two big, bushy eye brows. Paul.

"Come on kids, out to the living room." He said in a friendlier voice than when he was dragging Tom back.  
Matt practically sprinted out of the room leaving no chance for Tom to catch up. He shuffled his way out of the room when another body sprinted into him, crashing him to the ground.

_Fucking hell is everyone like this?_

Tom looked at the kid who ran into him, he was a short kid with blond hair wearing a baby blue sweater behind him was a taller boy, slightly tan with coal like hair but he looked as skinny as a whippet.  
The blond one smiled realising his mistake and pulled himself of the ground, offering a hand to Tom which he took.

"Sorry about that. Can't be late when duty calls. I'm Yuu by the way." Yuu gave a toothy smile and pointed to the boy behind him. "And thats Yanov." 

The boy behind him came closer and smiled, not saying a word but Tom didn't care. He preferred it that way.

"Come with us we need to go to the living room."

Tom agreed seeing as he had no idea where he was going. The boys made their way to where they needed to be, with Yuu blabbering on about something, Tom didn't really listen he was observing the place. He noticed a door that read 'Canteen' and canteens always have kitchen which most likely has a back door.  
Exit one.

Tom couldn't stay here, he will escape he just need to plan his routes and exits.  
The sound of chatting became louder and louder as they made their way closer to where Tom guessed they had to be Yuu pulled the skinny boy dressed in black into the room and Tom slugged along behind.  
Upon entering the room Tom could see a bright neon yellow painted across the walls, with an accompany obnoxious red sofa plastered to the side of the room. Thankfully they were three big windows covering half the walls so it would limit the yellow seen. There was no TV but a big table with paper and crayons similar to the room Tom was in.

Toms eyes rested on children seat on the sofa, He spotted Matt sitting next to a boy in a green hoodie, he had tattered brown hair and his legs we pulled up curling him into a ball so you couldn't see his face.  
Yuu and Yanov took a seat beside the table and Yuu began to enthusiastically scribble on a piece of paper.  
Fucking hell, I can't put up with this.

Mid way though Tom judging Yuu, Matt called out. "Hey Tom! Over here." He looked over to see the boy tapping on the sofa beside him.

Tom was about to take a seat when Pat and Paul came in.

"Okay kids as you can see with have a new member of the family, Tom." at said putting an arm about the boys shoulder. "I see you've already met Matt." 

Tom was about to agree when Matt interrupted. "When will Tord be back?!" he shouted obviously curious to know.

"He just need a while to calm down okay? So on todays agenda you all will be going off you to classes as normal and in the evening we will have longer free time to help Tom here settle in." Pat smiled hoping they'd end the discussion, but Matt wasn't having it.

He began to chant. "WE WANT TORD! WE WANT TORD!" With Yuu and surprisingly Yanov joining too and to show his support the boy in the green pumped his fist into the air.  
This was stopped very quickly when a loud bang silence the room the sound coming from Paul hitting the table.

"As Pat said Tord won't be with us for a while." The deepness of his voice causing everyone to back down. Its surprising how scary some people can be.

"Have a good day. Tom I'll need to talk to you later." Pat said as he passed Tom once again, leaving the four boys alone.

Yuu and Yanov when back to their drawings, however something changed in Matt he seem scared even though he was gone. The boy in green had changed too he was out of his ball and was stroking Matts back.

Curiosity took over Tom and he went to see what was wrong. "Hey Matt, you alright?" Matt was still staring at the ground when little sobs began to emit from him. "Oh shit I'm sorry did i-"

"It's not your fault" The boy in green looked up at tom showing two hazel eyes, he voice was soothing in a way. "He hates loud noises." 

"Oh Matt." Tom sat the other side of him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"It's fine." Matt laughed through his sobs thinking of how pathetic the situations was. "Just scares me y'know."

"They should know not to do that, seeing as they think they are good doctors!" Tom got pissed, they shouldn't do that to a kid especially an unstable one.

"It's fine honestly." Matt settled his crying and took a deep breathe in, and out. "Okay well then we have classes to get to." Matt hopped up to his feet ready to start the day.

"Wait, wait hold on a second Matt you can't just act like nothing has happened." 

"Yes I can." 

Tom was about to interject when a hand grabbed his arm. When Tom turned to see who's hand it was he noticed it was the little boy in green. "Just leave it."

"And you ar-"

"Edd." Was all the boy said before standing to be with Matt.

 "Come on Tom we gotta go."

"Coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You could tell I rushed the end. Sorry!  
> love ya guys


	4. Settling In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this chapter has been so late coming my brain is messed up at the moment so I haven't really had any motivation to do anything. sorry.

 

_FFUUCK I CANT STAND THIS PLACE_

 Tom thought as he dragged himself out of the 'acceptance' room questioning what that even meant. Tom felt sick, he did not like it here, he put his left hand on his stomach as if he was going to throw up.

"Hey Tom! Come spend your free time with us!" Tom heard Matt voice from behind him with Edd muttering to him. He didn't want to, he couldn't. He didn't know what was happening to him but, he knew he felt ill as hell.

"Tom?"

Tom waved a hand behind him gesturing Matt and Edd to go away as he slumped down the halls. He furthered towards his room he passed the living room, peering into the room he caught the sight of two smoky eyes but, he passed to fast to see who the owner was. 

He paused, those eyes were beautiful it kept him in a some sort of shock. But who was it, it wasn't Matt his were blue, Edd's were brown the same as Yanov's and Yuu's were green. So who was that.

Tom was pulled out of his trance when he saw Patryck walking towards him with a smile on his face. He smile changed slightly when he noticed Toms slumped shoulders and hand on his stomach.

"Hello Tom, are you okay?"  Pat gently put a hand on his shoulder. This triggered Tom to swiftly grab Patryck's hand with his right, pulling it off his shoulder and held it into the air.

"Don't. Touch. Me." Tom growled staring back at Patryck. 

_What the fuck are you doing?_

Tom realised his mistake and quickly pulled his hand away shock spreading across both their faces.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that." Tom knew he wasn't meant to do that and he began to panic. Tom felt disappointment spread across Pats face and he hated it so, he began to walk away.

"Tom wait I came to tell you your father dropped your stuff off." This caused Tom to stop.

"He dropped it off?"

This caused Pat to be quiet for a slight moment. "Yes, he said he didn't want to see you this way."

"Of course." Tom muttered thankfully not too loud that Patryck would have heard. He turned to see Patryck holding out two backpacks, he was surprised he didn't see before. Feeling hollow he took the bags.

"Put them in your room and come talk to me." Patryck knew how the boy felt, you could see the sorrow in his body language.

"Okay." Tom bearly spoke as he carried on to his room dragging the bags on his shoulder. He felt his eyes begin to sting that was when he realised he was about to cry. Thankfully he made it to his room before the tears began to ran down his face.

_He doesn't care does he._

_This is all my fucking fault._

_He hates you doesn't he?_

_Well fuck him._

_He never cared._

With the tears streaming down his face Tom felt a ball of anger burning in the pit of his stomach. He never felt angry like this before he didn't know how it felt, it was a mixture of anger, sadness and confusion.

He carried on putting his clothes in the wardrobe and picked up his dark blue hoodie. Looking down as his chest he debated whether he would change out of matts into his own. He decided to and folded the purple hoodie. Tom finally got to put on his own clothes rather than being stuck in the hospital gown, stuffing the little doodle in the pocket of his hoodie.

Tom sighed and went out the room as he knew Pat wanted to talk to him. To his surprise out side his room was Pat in his white coat as always.

"Come on kid." He said in a pitiful tone and gestured for the boy to follow.  
They ended up in a different room than the one he was put in when he ran, they were in an office. It was a small, simple room with two filing cabinets beside the window that was behind a messy desk with a lamp and paper scattered across its surface. Beside the door was a long grey sofa with a matching arm chair.

Pat made his way to he desk and by close observation you could see a little silver sign with 'Dr. P Nowak'. This proved Toms suspicions, it was Pat's office. "Take a seat."

Tom sat on the long sofa so he could be closer to the door if he ever needed to escape. Hopefully it wouldn't need to come to that.

"Okay so Tom this is just going to be a session just so we can properly put you on the right medications. Do you understand?"

Tom didn't say anything, again, he just stared back with his black hollow eyes. Even though Tom eyes were black you could still see the sadness that flooded them. 

"I'm not going to force you to say anything you don't want to. So how are you feeling?"

"Pissed off that we are doing this again. Besides I thought you would be back at 'dinner'." Tom sounded pissed off and he has every right too however, it was sending bad singles to Pat.

"That was my plan but I saw your father." Pat spotted the slight down fall in Toms lips at the sound of his dad, so it was best to start with that first.

"So tell me about your father."

"There's nothing to tell." Tom brought his legs up on sofa as he knew he would be there a while, pulling his legs up crumpled the paper drawing Pats attention to it. thankfully he didn't question it yet.

"Mm so, you two get along well?"

"This is stupid, can't I just go to my room?" To that response Pat wrote something down on the piece of paper in front of him. Tom decided not to comment on this one.

"Okay change of subject. How's school?"

"Oh for fuc- listen I didn't come here for fucking small talk." Tom got up to leave and pulled on the door. It was locked.

"Automated locking system. We got those installed a week ago after a kid started to attack the other kids and staff."

"What good will that do it will just leave you stuck in here with them."

"That is true but it gives us a chance to talk it out."

"You are really starting to piss me off!" Toms grip on the door became tighter causing his knuckles to turn white.

"Listen I'm just trying to help you." Pat got out from his chair noticing the boys sudden burst of anger.

Tom knew he was lying.

_Lier! Lier!_

_He's just_ _like everyone else._

_You can't trust him._

_He'll tell everyone about you._

_He'll hurt you_

"Tom?" a hand was place on his shoulder. This did not sit well with Tom he swung round grabbing Pats wrist and pulling it down so they we face level. With tears in his eyes and choked.

"I said don't fucking touch me!"

Realising what he had done he let go of his wrist. "Please just let me go." So he did. A card scanned over the door and Tom was free.

He stood there for a while and the tears came back again. falling down his face with Tom wincing ever now and then. After about three minutes he stopped and wiped his eyes so he could carry on his day, well that what was left of it, he looked up and say Yuu staring at him holding a fist full of his sweater. "Are you okay?" his innocent voice spoke.

"Oh fuck off." Tom glared at him in hopes he would leave.  
Yuu began to look a little scared. "P-Paul told me to tell you dinner time." Tom began to stomp down the hall when he was stopped once again. "You dropped this." He was holding out the picture  of the boy in red.  Full with embarrassment Tom snatched it back.

"It's really good by the way. I'd love to be friends with someone who could draw like that." Tom ignored this and carried on his way leaving the little boy standing there.

 

\-------

 

Tom stood in yet another ugly neon painted room. This one however was occupied by red tables which were connected to red benched.

"Tom!" Matt called from one of the far benches, Tom walked over but as he was passing he was Yanov sitting alone with two trays of food.  
Probably waiting for Yuu.

"Hey Matt. Hi Edd." He nodded at the two as he took a seat next to matt opposite Edd.

"Look Tom I got your food for you!" Matt patted the table in front of him. Sitting there was a tray with fish and chips on top.

"Thanks Matt." Tom picked up the fork and began to push the food around his plate, he doesn't want to eat this crap.

_I just want a real dad._  

_God I wish I was a android detective who's dad was the lieutenant but was a alcoholic because he has a sad past._

_IS that too much to ask._

A loud bang on the table snapped him out of his thoughts, the bang you ask came from Matt "OOO Edd I heard Tord is coming back Tomorrow!" The Timid boy in green perked up to this.

"Wait seriously?"

"Yea!"

Tom waved a hand trying to get their attention. "Who the fuck is Tord?"

"OH he is soo cool! He got put in the 'bad' part of the hospital. The part with Edwardo, Mark and Jon. well Jon doesn't really deserve to be there but that just because of bad writing."

"Wha-"

"He was sent there because he attacked Paul last week." Edd clarified as Tom was getting too confused.  
a sudden realisation came to Tom.

_Oh so he is the dip shit that cause 'automatic locks' to be fucking made._

Matt carried on to blabber to Edd about how amazing Tord is and what not while Edd sat eating his food obviously use to this kind of thing. Toms eyes drifted to the other table where Yuu and Yanov sat, Yuu's tray was almost gone while Yanov's was still full and Yuu held out a fork with a chip on.

Tom could slightly hear their conversation even over Matts shouting.

"Come oonnnnnn Yav! You'll die if you don't eat."

Yanov didn't move.

"Urgh fine but everytime you don't eat neither do I." Yuu crossed his arms like a sulky child.

Tom was mentally taking notes of reasons why these kids got locked up in this dump.  
_Matt- no fucking clue, Edd- something anti social? anxiety? I dont know, Yuu- ADHD and Yanov obviously anorexic or belimic._

_I don't blame him I wouldn't eat this shit either._

Tom stood up from his spot to leave when he was stopped by a voice.

"Y-you can't go till you've eaten something." It was quiet but he knew it was Edd's.

Tom turned and glared at the small boy with chestnut hair. Edd sunk back to his food and let Tom be.  
Tom made his was out the main door of the canteen when he looked to the left he saw Paul and Pat talking for them both to turn and look at the boy. Not wanting to talk to anyone anymore Tom sprinted back to his room and slammed the door behind him.

_Fuck I can't do this anymore._

A sad Tom crawled his was to his bed and curled up under the sheets.

_It's only been one fucking day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed.  
> I've decided to make Tom a little shit to Yuu because I can. :)))


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Hey I hope you enjoy this chapter, anything Yuu said I got from a friend of mine who has ADHD and he says these things quite a lot, it's rather funny.
> 
> enjoy<3

 

 

_T_ _om woke up with the covers on the floor with the cold nipping at his feet. Tom sat up and looked over to see an empty, made bed beside him._

**_Where's Matt?_ **

**_Probably already up for breakfast._ **

  
_Tom got out of bed and picked up the slumped covers to place them neatly on the bed. Once he had finished his task he left the room, but it wasn't the hallway he had come to know, it was just a long hallway in front of him no windows, no lights but it was still bright white which caused Toms eyes to cringe._

_"Tom?" A females voice call out him name, it was familiar._

_"_ _Tom?" She sounded cheery. Out of curiosity Tom walked the only way he could, forward hopefully it was the way towards this mysterious voice._

_All was silent except for the patter of his bear feet on the wooden floor until he heard the echo again._

 

_"Tom."_

 

_He could see a woman in a white maxi dress with long brown hair almost covering her face, she was looking down. Tom approached her with caution stepping closer and closer his foot creaked on a wooden panel._  

**_EEEErrreekkkkkk_**

_This cause the lady to look up both her and Toms eyes met. Hers were black._

_"Mum?!" Tom Squeaked out of shock._

_"_ _Tommy." She smiled with her arms held out in the motion for a hug._

_With tears in his eyes he began to run towards her, but he couldn't every time he tried to get closer she would seem further away. So he began to sprint, tears streaming down_ _his face he was stopped by a soft toned voice._

_"Tommy stop. It's okay," He stared into her eyes with his face soaked with tears. "I love you."_

 

**_CRASH_ **

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

Tom jumped up in his seat with tears welling up in his eyes, he was shaking as if he was surrounded by snow. He didn't bother to check if Matt was sleeping but, rather jump

out of his bed and to the door to check if he was dreaming or not. He wasn't it was the same hall, same smell, same prison.

_Thank God_

Tom's shaky legs caused him to drop to the floor making him unable to move, he wasn't too good at getting use to his new home. Tom was staring at the floor still paralysed in shock from his nightmare until some shuffling snapped him out of it.

"Tom are you okay?"

He turned, still shaking, to see Matt sitting up in his bed with his head slightly cocked to the side as if he was a dog.

_Oh fuck me._

"Yea I'm fine." Tom got up still shaken but able to stand. "I'm fine" He said rubbing the tears from his eyes, cleverly disguised as if he was waking up from sleep. "I'm just hungry is all"

"Hahaha yea! You're acting like a zombie, lets get food!" Matt said as he bounced out of bed and put on his purple hoodie that was thrown on the floor. He cheerfully took Tom along to grab some food.

After meeting up with Edd and grabbing breakfast the boys had to have classes, to which Tom was not excited for. It was a room with a circle table with little plastic green chairs surrounding it. All the boys sat down (Along with Yuu and Yanov) and were given a paper and a pencil, the class was taken by Paul which didn't bother Tom because he wasn't planning on doing anything but, it bothered Matt.

"Where's Catherine?" Matt asked puzzled.

"You won't be having her today because I'm here to supervise Tord to see if he still need time in the other section of the ward." Paul replied in a monotone voice.  
Like a child getting the gift they wished for on Christmas Matt's eyes lit up. "I forgot Tord is coming back! Edd isn't this great" Matt began to blabber to Edd jumping up and down in excitement while Paul tried to quite them down, Tom just blocked this out.

_This Tord guy sure is something huh?_

The door opened and the room when silent and in came Patryck with the boy who wore the red hoodie. It was the boy from his drawing.

_Wait is this-_

"TORD!" Matt jumped up and ran over to him hugging him.

"Hey Matt long time no see," He said, Tom noted he had a really thick accent making him wonder where he was from. "Did everyone miss me?"

"Okay, okay sit down both of you. But, remember Tord you're still under supervision." Pat reminded him and patted him on the shoulder. With that he left no reply, no greeting to another kid. It was rather odd.

Tord looked around and locked eyes with Tom, a smile crept on Tord face as he went to sit net to him. The class began and it was how to cope with anxiety attack, which Tom thought was completely stupid as its something you can't be taught.

They were half way thought learning what triggers them when Edd began to have one, Him breathing began picking up and he began to shake. Paul took him outside and Matt followed along to make sure he was okay. This left Tom, Tord, Yuu and Yanov in the room.

"So what did you do to get you throw in to this shithole?" Tord spoke up to break the silence look at Tom with his brown raised.

"We're not allowed to talk about that you flippity ning nong." Yuu said swinging back on his chair, a huge grin plastered on his face.  
Tord gave him a death glare which caused Yuu to pipe down and fiddle with Yanovs jumper.

"So as I was saying. What got you into this dump?"

"Suicide attempt." Tom said bluntly, he's never gonna see this kid again so why bother hiding this from him.

"Damn I thought it would be more exciting." Tord sat back into his seat and grabbed the pencil to doodle on the paper.

"Like yours is anymore exciting." Tom rolled his black eyes, somehow still able to tell he was rolling them.

"No it's true I got sent here for suicide too but its not like I actually wanted to kill myself, I was just bored." Tord was doodling a little cityscape on the paper.  
This really confused Tom. _Who the fuck tries to kill themselves out of boredom?!_

"Ah yea you were doing that parkour shit wasn't you?" Yanov spoke up, thats the first, he sounded hoarse as if he was ill. Thought to be honest his voice fit his appearance.

Tord clicked and pointed a finger gun at him. "Bingo!"

"So you're like some sort of Sociopath." Tom scrunched his nose at the absurdity before him.

Tord repeated him action again this time at Tom. "Bingo again! Wow you're just as oblivious as I thought you be."

Tom was about to retaliate however Paul came back in and carried on the session. Afterwards the boys met in the lounge and thankfully Edd was better now, he was smiling and talking about his pet cat Ringo.

Tom was somewhat enjoying himself, but he wouldn't really call it enjoying as such just not wanting to shoot everyone and then themselves. That was until Yanov and Pat came into the room, Yuu notices Yanov and skipped over to him showing him a drawing of what he called 'aqua mouse' which was just a blue penguin.

"Tom can I talk to you." Tom's heart sank, this is exactly what he didn't want. He stood as he knew there was no way in getting out, he just wanted to get it over with.

"Ha! Have fun Tom." Tord laughed, not in a mean way but not in a friendly way either, he seemed to be an interesting character to Tom.

The two where once again in the same room, on the same sofa. Tom was dreading what he was going to say.

"Okay so we didn't get to fully have a conversation about your medication but so far we are going to put you antidepressants and diazepam."

_Diazepam the fuck is Diazepam?_

"The fuck is Diazepam?" Tom said with his arms crossed and his knees up to his chest.

"It's a pill that calms you down and will help with your night terrors. Your friend Matt told us that you woke up panicked is this true?"

This pissed Tom off thats no ones information to spread especially to this guy.

"No and even if it was true why the fuck would you believe him?" Tom could feel the anger building up inside of him, it was just like last time.

Pat didn't say anything as he could sense the anger radiating off the skinny boy, "Okay calm down and tell me, do you have nightmares?"

Tom stayed quiet, he couldn't be bothered with shit anymore. He didn't want to go home, he wanted to die, god only knows how much he wish he was no longer here. After a while he replied.

"Yea I guess." Pat knew he was getting thought to this boy and wrote it down.

"Okay thats all I needed to know." Pat smiled thankful he got something out of this experience.

Pat walked over to the boy and let him out. Matt came trotting along to Tom with Edd and Tord following behind.

"How did it go?" Matt said smiling.

With an annoyed, angry smile on Toms face he put his hand on Matts shoulders and whispered quietly so no one could hear, "If you ever tell Pat or Paul anything about what happens to me I'll personally rip every strand of your hair out and then slowly pull your limbs from your body. Do you understand?"  
Matts smile faded and he nodded quickly.

_I can't believe I have to share a room with this fucker._

Tom decided to head to bed he didn't need dinner he already at the shit that was 'breakfast', he strolled into his room and put on pyjamas as he couldn't stay in his hoodie and jeans everyday could he? He put on a short sleeves white tee-shirt and black and white checkered trousers.

_You can always count on my dad to bring me the right clothes huh? Fucker._

And with that he hopped into bed.

  
"Psst"

 

"Hey Tom wake up."

  
Tom groggily woke up to Tord standing over him who was still wearing his hoodie.

"The fuck do you want commie?" Tom muttered trying not to wake the snoring Matt. He moved his arms closer to his body to hid the healing cuts.

"I'm not a commie, I'm Norwegian. I want to show you something come look." Tord sounded like an excited child. He began to walk out Toms door and beckoned for him to follow, some sort of aura pulled Tom to follow so he did.

It was pitch black the only light coming from the moon outside, the boys will have to be quick so they wouldn't be caught by whoever was on patrol.  
Tord led Tom down the hall to Tords room who he shared with Yanov. He looked at Tom and pointed in the room, Tom was still a distance away so he couldn't see what he was talking about.

Tord entered to room and Tom followed, Tord was staring at Yanov.

"The fuck did you want to show me Tord?"

He said nothing just motioned for Tom to come closer to Yanovs bed, he did. Yanov looked so peaceful, hardly fidgeting at all. Tord leaned over to Toms ear and whispered.

 

 

"He's dead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I'm sorry for not uploading, at this point I have no excuse so I'm just giving an apology.
> 
> So sorry I had to do this :))


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